Abuela, Don't Forget Me

Content Warning: This section of the guide discusses domestic violence, child abuse, and discrimination. 

The poems in Part 2 continue to develop Ogle’s close relationship with Abuela, the instability of his home life with his mother and stepfather, and his struggles with identity and racism. In “lemonade,” Mom and Ogle make an unannounced trip to Abilene, arriving late at night. Mom shouts about having just received a petition for divorce from Ogle’s father, who has largely been absent from his life. Ogle asks Abuela if he can have some lemonade. Abuela tells him that it is too late for lemonade now, but that tomorrow he can have all the lemonade he wants.

During their visit, Ogle asks Abuela if he can go across the street to play with a neighbor kid, Jason. Mom interjects, telling him that he is there to spend time with Abuela. Abuela tells Ogle that it is fine for him to go play with Jason. Ogle sticks his tongue out at his Mom as he runs out the door, leaving her shouting in his wake. He does not turn around, as he knows that the shouting will still be there when he returns.

When Ogle next visits Abuela in Abilene in “books on tape,” he finds a cassette player from the library in his room. Abuela tells him that she borrowed it so that he can listen to books on tape. They go to the library together and look through the library’s catalog. Back at home, Ogle begins playing one of the tapes and chilling music begins to play. Ogle is too afraid of the story to continue listening. He runs out of his room to find Abuela, crying that there is a monster in the book. Abuela takes both the tape and the book and puts them in the freezer so that Ogle can sleep that night.

Part 2 introduces challenges that Ogle will continue to struggle with throughout his childhood and adolescence, particularly when it comes to his biracial identity. In the poem “stripes,” Ogle visits the public pool with Abuela and Aunt Lora. Ogle watches other children playing together and knows that although he was born in America, he is “a visitor here, a stranger” (33). Ogle goes to the Men’s locker room to change and once inside, two teenagers begin harassing him for the uneven pattern of his tan. They call him a derogatory term for Mexican people, and although Ogle does not fully understand the slur, he feels the weight of their words. Abuela finds Ogle in tears, still wrapped in his towel and begging to go home. He does not tell her what the boys said to him because he does not have the vocabulary to name their racism.

The experience fundamentally changes how Ogle views himself. In “mirror,” Ogle stares at his naked body in the mirror. He wants to better understand what others see “that makes [him] wrong” (36). His body tans unevenly, an indication of his mixed Brown and white race. When he takes in the whole of himself, he thinks that he looks like a “human zebra” (36), something that has been painted wrong.

Ogle catches chickenpox from a girl at school and Mom sends him to stay with Abuela to recover. Abuela tells Ogle not to scratch the chickenpox. He asks Abuela whether the girl from school got chickenpox from a chicken. Abuela shakes her head, telling him in Spanish that the marks from chickenpox look as if a chicken has pecked him over and over. Ogle tells Abuela that she “[talks] funny sometimes” (39) and Abuela’s smile fades. She tells him it is not funny, it’s Spanish.

Ogle’s Mom begins dating a new man, Sam, and the two of them fill their home with equal parts laughter, shouting, and slamming doors. Sam brings violence into their home, sometimes using his fists toward Mom. Ogle compares the chaotic noise of home to the silence of Abuela’s house, which is quiet and peaceful. The chaos of his home life begins to negatively impact Ogle’s school performance and behavior. Ogle strives to be good, even though his parents and Sam always tell him that he is bad because “[he’s] always in the way” (45). Ogle states that Abuela never says that he is bad or in the way. He wonders if Abuela can be right when Sam, Mom, and Dad all say the opposite.

In the poem “janitor,” Abuela takes Ogle to Abilene Christian University, where she got her Bachelor’s and Master’s degrees in four years while raising five children. Ogle asks if they can see the library. They hurry over to the library before it closes and as they walk inside, a man snaps at Abuela that she is late for work. Abuela tells the man that she does not work there, she graduated from there. The man does not apologize but only turns his attention to another brown-skinned woman who enters the library, telling Abuela that he made an honest mistake because “You two look exactly alike” (48). Ogle notes that they look nothing alike.

Back in San Marcos, Ogle, Mom, and Sam arrive back at their apartment to find that they have been robbed by someone Sam owed money to. Ogle thinks about how Abuela always tells Mom that Sam is trouble. Abuela begs Mom to move to Abilene, telling her that it is not safe for Ogle. Mom dismisses her pleas, telling her that it is not safe anywhere.

In a series of poems titled “mexico,” Abuela plans to travel back to Mexico to see her parents. Ogle, Mom, Aunt Frannie, and Ogle’s cousin Donald join her. The drive is eight hours long and the air conditioning in the car does not reach as far as the back seat, where Ogle sits with Donald. The heat affects everyone in the car, especially Mom who is wearing long sleeves and jeans. Ogle’s seat faces the sun directly and he eventually passes out from the heat. Mom begins shouting at him to stop “horsing around!” (55). Donald asks whether Ogle is dead, and if so, can he have his Walkman.

When they arrive and meet Abuela’s parents, his great-grandparents introduce themselves to him in Spanish. When Abuela’s sister, Panny, says that she misses her, Ogle speaks up, telling her that Abuela cannot move to Mexico because she has to “stay living near [him]” (59). Everyone laughs, which only makes Ogle mad, like Mom, who sits in the corner with her arms crossed, speaking to no one. Ogle wonders why Mom is angry all the time and suspects that it must have to do with the bruises that cover her arms and legs: “[G]ifts from Sam / so she does not forget him” (62).

Ogle goes to visit his Dad’s grandparents in Tennessee for the rest of the summer. Abuela takes Ogle to the airport, whispering that she wishes Ogle could stay with her, but that Abilene is not “far enough away from Sam” (64). She kisses his ears and wipes away her tears, telling him to go and be happy and that she loves him always. Ogle does not want to go but thinks that it might be good for Mom, who says that his laughter hurts her ears. Ogle knows that Sam hurts Mom enough and he does not want to further contribute to her pain. Despite this, Ogle can see in Mom’s eyes that she needs him, even though she refuses to hug him before he gets on the plane.

In Tennessee, he sees his father’s side of the family, including his grandma June, who holds Ogle in her lap and seems to love him as much as Abuela does. His grandfather, meanwhile, looks at Ogle “like a stranger” (64) and often repeats how much he does not care for Mom.

The neighborhood kids taunt Ogle by calling him “Rice and Beans” (66) until he runs back to his grandparents’ house. Grandma June finds Ogle hiding under the porch, wiping his tears, and tells him to ignore them and that there is nothing wrong with being different. She pulls Ogle into her lap and hugs him close. June tells Ogle that he was her first grandchild and therefore has a special place in her heart. She tells him that she was so glad when Abuela called her to ask if Ogle could spend the summer with them and Ogle is surprised to hear that his two grandmothers spoke. June tells him that Abuela is the one who paid for his ticket. That night, Ogle thinks of Abuela, feeling her love for him all the way from Texas.

Abuela sends Mom a check each month to pay for Ogle’s daycare. Mom deposits each check and tells Ogle that he is old enough to take care of himself and stay home alone after school while she works. He agrees, even though he is only eight and a half. When Ogle thinks about it, he likes being a “latchkey kid” (71), following Mom’s only rule: Do not tell Abuela.

Ogle notices that his mother’s belly grows rounder until it begins pushing out her shirt. He wonders if she is gaining weight before Mom and Sam reveal that Ogle is going to be a big brother. They wait for his excitement, but it does not arrive, as Ogle thinks that he likes being an only child. Mom’s excitement turns to anger. She shakes him, shouting at him for not being excited. Ogle shrugs in response, knowing that he will not know how he feels until the baby arrives.

After the baby is born, Abuela arrives from Abilene to visit. Ogle sits on the sidewalk waiting for her, jumping up as soon as she arrives and running to her. While hugging her and telling her that he loves her, he asks if the two of them can go somewhere else. Abuela smiles and asks if she can meet his baby brother first. Watching Abuela hold baby Ford, rocking him gently, Ogle wishes he were a baby again so that Abuela would cradle him.

Ogle is playing with action figures with a few boys he knows, Mike and Chris, when Abuela comes out to see him. Ogle grabs her hand to introduce her to his friends. When he states that she is his abuela, the boys make fun of her accent. Ogle becomes angry, telling the boys to shut up. Ogle, embarrassed about the whole scene, blames Abuela, not understanding why he directs his anger toward her. For the rest of Abuela’s visit, Ogle remains angry with her, refusing to call her “Abuela,” only “Grandma.” Her accent grates on his nerves, thinking that she is a reminder of how being different is wrong.

In a series of poems called “interruption,” Ogle’s mother and Sam move their family three separate times in rapid succession. They first go to Colorado in pursuit of jobs, but when Ogle calls Abuela to tell her where they have moved, he points out that Mom and Sam still do not have jobs in Boulder. Ogle ends the call by asking Abuela if he can come live with her, and she says that Mom will not let him. Ogle can hear her crying.

They soon leave Colorado to go to Paris, Texas, to live with Sam’s family. Ogle calls Abuela again and tells her about the home set up, which includes Sam’s brother, his brother’s wife, their children, and Sam’s father, who is always drunk. Abuela mutters to herself again and says that she is relieved Ogle is back in Texas. Ogle asks if he can come live with Abuela and again she responds that Mom will not let him, sniffling on the other end of the phone.

They move for a final time to Grapevine, Texas, which is only three hours away from Abuela. Abuela is thrilled to hear from Ogle and happy to hear that they have once more moved closer to her. She says that she will visit them if Mom lets her, and Ogle assures her that Mom will because she needs to borrow money.

The new apartment in Grapevine is under 400 square feet, two-bedroom, one-bath, with a dingy white interior and cigarette burns in the carpet. There are cockroaches that come out at night as well, but the space feels big compared to the other cramped spaces they previously occupied. Ogle gets his own room because Ford sleeps with Mom and Sam. Ogle’s lack of belongings makes his room feel extra huge.