Hanging Fire

Audre Lorde’s title, “Hanging Fire” is an idiom that means a delay in taking action. It originally referred to a malfunction in firing a gun, but is used to refer to many different kinds of waiting. The poem is written in the first person, and the speaker is the poet, Lorde.

One central theme of the poem concerns the Experiences of Adolescence, as the speaker explicitly identifies herself as “fourteen” (Line 1). These include the almost universally relatable experiences of acne and heartbreak. The speaker is upset about how her “skin has betrayed” (Line 2) her at the poem’s opening. This “betrayal” can be read as acne caused by puberty. This line can also be read as an allusion to Racism in America: In this reading, the betrayal of her skin is not simply hormonal, but also due to its melanin, or pigmentation. As a young Black woman, she is subject to prejudice as well as puberty.

The theme of Racism in America is further developed by the speaker questioning, “how come my knees are / always so ashy” (Lines 6-7). This particular “ashy” appearance of the knees—in which dark skin is prone to excessive dryness—is something that white people do not experience. As a Black teenager, the speaker has to not only endure the same bodily changes as white teenagers, but also has to endure white people being prejudiced against her dark skin. The prejudice she experiences leads to her worrying about violence that is motivated by racism. The speaker asks, “what if I die / before morning” (Lines 8-9). She is concerned that she could be the victim of a hate crime, due to her race.

The potential for racially motivated violence appears alongside the other race-based issue of Maternal Colorism and Neglect. While the teenaged speaker has feelings about adolescence and Blackness, her mother is “in the bedroom / with the door closed” (Lines 10-11, emphasis added). In other words, her mother is not present for her during times of emotional stress and fears of physical danger. Lorde had a rocky relationship with her mother, who had lighter skin and did not like that her daughter had dark skin, which is colorism (See: Background). Lorde’s mother being able to pass for white means that she did not have the same fears about racist violence. Lorde’s concerns about death due to racial violence from the outside world are amplified by her mother’s colorism within the home.

The second stanza also brings together general Experiences of Adolescence with the speaker’s specific concerns about Racism in America. She is concerned about fitting in at high school. Specifically, she feels like she has “to learn how to dance / in time for the next party” (Lines 12-13). There is limited space for dancing in her room—it feels “too small” (Line 14). The restricted space of her room embodies the feelings of claustrophobia and oppression the speaker experiences inwardly. Lorde also describes feelings of apathy and a sense of being overwhelmed by her current responsibilities, remarking, “There is nothing I want to do / and too much / that has to be done” (Lines 19-21). The lack of motivation is coupled with growing pressures.

In addition to variations in motivation and increasing responsibilities, a Black teenager’s mental health is compromised by Racism in America. Lorde contemplates what would happen if she were to be a victim of racial violence before she graduates. She thinks that if she dies, people will sing songs in her memory and “finally / tell the truth about me” (Lines 17-18). This is an attempt to find some positive aspect while grappling with a very realistic fear. White teenagers, and people who can pass for white, do not share these fears. The threat of violence is more prevalent for people with dark skin in America.

The poem’s poignancy comes from the juxtaposition of a vulnerable Black teenager with her absent mother. Lorde uses repetition to emphasize the feelings of being shut out from her mother. The lines “and momma’s in the bedroom / with the door closed” (Lines 10-11, 22-23, 34-35) are repeated three times, at the end of each stanza. The door symbolizes how the speaker’s mother emotionally isolates herself from her daughter. The door can also be read as a symbol of a different physical barrier—skin color. Lorde’s mother is not only emotionally closed off, but also struggles with colorism against her darker-skinned daughter, developing the theme of Maternal Colorism and Neglect.

In the third stanza, the speaker changes the established pattern of the previous stanzas. Rather than begin the stanza with the first person pronoun, “I,” the final stanza begins with “Nobody even stops to think / about my side of it” (Lines 24-25). Here, Lorde is noting how many people are not aware of the perspective of Black teenagers. Racism in America keeps people, especially white people, from learning about “[her] side”—the perspective of someone marginalized by the dominant society. Her perspective includes Experiences of Adolescence that are common among women. She is not able to become part of the math team even though her “marks were better than his” (Line 27). Despite her intellect, she is not treated the same way as male teenagers. The male possessive pronoun “his” echoes the use of “boy” (Line 3) to refer to the male peer she has a crush on in the first stanza, although “his” could refer to a different male student. The speaker highlights the sexism that she has to deal with, alongside racism, while a teenager.

Lorde’s speaker remains preoccupied with the possibility of dying young. She asks, “will I live long enough / to grow up” (Lines 32-33), once more echoing the threat of racially based violence in the backdrop of her life. A common perception of adolescence is that it is a period when young people feel immortal. However, Racism in America makes it so the speaker—and other young Black women—are concerned with their own death at an earlier age than most white high schoolers. The speaker’s mother being light-skinned makes it difficult for her to understand what her daughter is feeling. She, like the “nobody” (Line 24) at the beginning of the stanza, does not think about her daughter’s perspective. Her Maternal Colorism and Neglect keeps her bedroom door closed, shutting out any dialogue and learning that could happen.