The Gift of Rain

“England is a foreign land, cold and gloomy.”

To Philip, all lands other than Penang are foreign, but England is particularly foreign, reflecting The Complexity of Identity. The imagined weather of England is an example of pathetic fallacy, in which the cold and gloomy atmosphere reflects Philip’s emotional disposition toward an island with which he does not identify. In denying England, he is denying a certain part of himself to reaffirm and deepen his connection to Penang.

“They told me that we had known each other a long, long time ago. That we will know each other in the times to come.”

The encounter with the fortune teller is, for Philip, a novelty. For Endo, it is a tragic validation of what he already feels. He feels drawn to Philip, fully aware that their relationship will end tragically. This is a cycle of violence and Endo is saddened because he feels trapped by his duty to his destiny, reflecting The Tension Between Conflict and Harmony in his life.

“It was only just starting to occur to me what a strange place I had grown up in—a Malayan country ruled by the British, with strong Chinese, Indian, and Siamese influences.”

Philip has grown up with the complexity of identity. He never felt as though he belonged anywhere. When he shows Endo around Penang, however, he is able to view the island with new eyes. He sees something new wherever he goes, realizing that the island—much like himself—is a chaotic mix of cultures and identities that can be loved nonetheless.

“That was my burden—I looked too foreign for the Chinese, and too Oriental for the Europeans.”

Even as his relationship with Endo progresses, Philip still feels caught between two worlds. Rather than belonging to two cultures, he feels rejected by both. The incident in the tea house is the clearest expression of Philip’s alienation.

“I could only nod and drop to my knees in obeisance, hating myself for disgracing my mother’s people by my actions.”

As Philip listens to his grandfather’s story, elements of the past provide foreshadowing for the future. Khoo Wu An was the child of revolutionaries who went to work for the Emperor, just as Philip will one day work for the Japanese who are occupying Malaya. Like his grandfather, he will feel as though he has betrayed his family while assuring himself that he is doing so for the right reasons. The story is significant, suggesting to Philip that his struggles are not unique. His grandfather is the latest iteration of tensions and conflicts which echo across the centuries.

“In all my years my father had never spoken to me this way; no one ever had.”

In the absence of his father, Philip finds a father figure in Endo. Noel is physically absent from Philip’s life at this point, but his emotional absence is notable in Philip’s sudden reaction to positive praise. He feels endeared toward Endo because he feels a sudden warmth toward the man who is filling an emotional vacuum in his life.

“You look so different!”

In the time that his family has been away, Philip has changed. Through Endo’s lessons, he has emotionally matured and gained a new perspective on his world and his identity. This change has manifested physically, as his body has hardened with the training. Isabel notes this physical change as a precursor to noting how much Philip has emotionally changed.

“The pills don’t work anymore, do they?”

The older Philip is a more mature and empathetic person. He recognizes that Michiko is suffering, but also that her suffering is not just physical. Her medicine no longer works, and she is staring death in the face. Though she has not told him so, he recognizes the plight of someone confronting their own mortality.

“I saw now that there was one big difference between Kon and me—he was idealistic and I was not.”

Philip and Kon share much in common, from their aikido training to the grief they endure after losing their mothers. However, these similarities only make their differences more pronounced. In Kon, Philip glimpses an idealism that is alien to himself. He understands his own pragmatism but acknowledges how he differs from his close friend.

“No. She’d have been proud of us both.”

As he plans the party with his father, Philip is taken aback by the emotionally frank declaration from his father that his mother would be proud. In this moment, Philip shows his martial arts training. He responds in kind, as Endo has taught him, showing emotional maturity by returning the compliment to his father. He understands that emotion in the relationship does not need to be unilateral.

“And now, a present from Mr. Khoo, a member of my family.”

Noel Hutton ends his speech with a subtle invitation to his father-in-law. Though they have been deliberately distant for many years, Philip has brought them together. Mr. Khoo is now a member of Noel’s family, Noel proudly declares, using the subtleties of language to offer up a present as meaningful and as impressive as the firework display.

“You’d better watch out yourself, you are turning Chinese.”

The demonstration of the strength of friendship between Kon and Philip can be seen in the way that Kon jokes about Philip’s Chinese identity. He knows that Philip’s mother was Chinese and that Philip has struggled to identify with his mother’s culture. His gentle joke is a subtle way of affirming Philip’s recognition of his heritage, praising his growing self-awareness in a friendly but sincere manner.

“We sat in appalled silence at the breakfast table as my father read us the news, the tremor in his hands rustling the newspaper.”

Noel’s hands tremble as he reads the newspaper not only because of the horrors that will be brought by the Japanese invasion but also because his fundamental view of the world has shifted. He was certain that he and his family were safe, and now he has been proved wrong. He is worried about whether he can protect his family in a world he can no longer predict.

“The British soldiers had already evacuated and in their haste had left the airfields and oil supplies intact, like thoughtful gifts for the new owner of a home.”

The departure of the British colonial forces is a betrayal on many levels. The British do not just leave, their haste actively equips the Japanese with supplies that can be turned against the locals. These “thoughtful gifts” seem to suggest that the British have more in common with their fellow imperialists the Japanese than with those whom they have left behind.

“The countryside appeared as it had been, unchanged.”

Despite the brutality of the war, the natural world remains largely the same. Philip’s passage through the countryside is a reminder of the ephemeralness of human life. Amid a devastating war, the natural world can remain largely intact, even as everyone Philip knows loses their humanity.

“Friends part forever / Wild geese lost in clouds.”

The lines from the haiku mean more to Philip and Endo than they do in isolation. These are not just the words of a poem, but the summation of their lives and the struggles they have sought to resolve. By quoting the poem to one another, they can remind each other of their place within this cycle.

“I forced myself not to show any emotion, not in front of these people.”

Philip is made to watch the brutality of the Japanese occupation firsthand but, at the same time, the nature of his dual identity means that he must hide his emotion. He feels monstrous in his emotional repression, particularly as—to other people—he seems to be the monster that people believe him to be. The culpability and the violence are not enough, as Philip is also denied the opportunity to express his anguish.

“I felt angry with Kon because he did not have to live with the consequences.”

Kon and Philip were once very similar, but now they are fighting very different wars. Kon faces danger every day in the jungle, but he is lauded as a hero. Philip is criticized as a traitor, but he is forced to bear witness to the brutal punishment inflicted on innocent people as a consequence of Kon’s actions. Philip suffers twice, once as the villain and then again as the hero he can never be.

“Hiroshi-san, please excuse us. I do not wish to breathe your air.”

Saotome’s show of disrespect toward Hiroshi is so callous and so strident that even the other Japanese officers are taken aback. The men who have not hesitated to order brutal abuse, executions, and torture are horrified at Saotome’s lack of manners. Even among these brutal men, Saotome finds a way to distinguish himself in his villainy.

“Guilt is an invention of the Westerners and their religion.”

Khoo Wu An may try to comfort his grandson by insisting that guilt is a Western creation, but Philip recognizes himself as at least partly Western. He cannot deny his Western identity (and thus his guilt) any more than he can deny his Chinese identity. Instead, he will live with the guilt for the rest of his life.

“In a way, you will be killing me again.”

After being arrested, Philip shows that he has fully come to believe in Endo’s idea that they are two people locked in a dispute across many lives, reflecting the tension between conflict and harmony. His words, however, are particularly pointed, as they imply that Endo has once again failed in his efforts to find a harmonious resolution. Endo will not just be killing Philip, Philip suggests, but he will also be killing his chance at resolution.

“On the sloping roof, facing the sea, facing the direction from which the planes often flew in, a rather rudimentary Union Jack.”

Philip’s attempts to paint a British flag are not only rudimentary because of the circumstances, but also because of Philip’s rudimentary relationship to his British identity. As a tribute to his father, he paints the flag as a declaration of his own Britishness. He drapes Noel Hutton’s house in a display of nationalistic pride, openly allying himself to an identity he once could not comprehend.

“I want, I need to tell you, yet I am so afraid.”

For decades, Philip has told no one his story. By telling everything to Michiko, however, he has become almost addicted to openness and The Comforting Nature of Sharing Memories. He cannot go back to silence, not without at least finishing his story. The completion of the narrative, he hopes, will bring absolution from years of pain and regret. He cannot leave this quest for absolution unfinished, no matter how afraid he may be.