The Unhoneymooners

Olive frantically texts her sister and her cousin for help with her dilemma; both of them know she is not a skilled liar. In the elevator, Olive feels unattractive compared to Ethan, but he stuns her by saying “you look great. You always do” (100).

In the restaurant, Ethan is physically affectionate, but she kicks him under the table when he makes remarks that she knows are sarcastic. Ethan shocks Olive by recalling an entire outfit she once wore while spinning a story of their first meeting. Ethan tells the story of Olive stuck in the arcade game as a child, surprising her again. He compares Olive to Ami by saying, “One has it all together, and the other is my wife” (109), which makes the Hamiltons laugh uproariously. To Olive’s horror, the Hamiltons emphasize the family culture at the company and invite Ethan to social events for partners of employees.

As Olive and Ethan bicker, he suddenly stops short as a woman calls his name, and he asks Olive to do what he says. She says she’ll do what he needs in exchange for the hotel bed. A young blond woman, Sophie, greets Ethan warmly, and Olive determines through gestures and lipreading that she is Ethan’s ex-girlfriend. Sophie introduces her fiancé, Billy. Olive realizes that this engagement must be recent. Ethan introduces Olive as his wife, and Sophie seems jealous. Olive notes, pettily, that Sophie is thin, blond, and may not age well.

When Sophie somewhat insincerely suggests dinner, Olive decides to go deeper into her role, subtly reminding Ethan that they have been spending so much time in bed that committing to social engagements would be unfair.

Olive is anxious when they arrive back at the suite, aware they are about to change for bed and negotiate sharing a bathroom. She lets Ethan shower first, disconcerted at the thought of him naked. She wakes well rested and cheerful, assuring herself that Sophie will no doubt want to avoid them. They find themselves saying goodbye to the Hamiltons in the lobby.

Over breakfast, Ethan is grouchy, reminding Olive that his ex-girlfriend now thinks he is married and Molly Hamilton wants to socialize with him. Ethan immediately notices when Olive calls him out for being too “self-deprecating and cute” with the Hamiltons, and he only smiles when she calls him “cute in a gross way” (125). In the middle of an argument about whether Ethan’s food safety anxiety is reasonable, Olive notices a look of horror on his face and realizes that Sophie is directly behind them. Olive feels some sympathy for his predicament, recalling how difficult it can be to have accomplishments marred by encounters with former partners. Ethan is reluctant for the two of them to pursue any activities together, but Olive reminds him she is there to have a good time in any case. He kisses her, realizing Sophie is watching.

Olive selects a boat ride to the Molokini crater, where they may also be able to dive to see marine life. They arrive at the van to find Sophie is doing the same activity. Ethan is surly during the trip, and Olive regrets her choice, and tries to assure Ethan she had no idea Sophie would be there. They trade elbow jabs and she accidentally tickles him. They wind up unintentionally making a scene when he shrieks uproariously.

They take in the view as the journey continues and relax. Catching sight of Sophie and Billy, Olive asks how long it has been since Ethan’s relationship with Sophie ended. She is somewhat surprised to hear it has only been six months, and realizes Ethan is struggling to remain impassive and disinterested around Sophie, especially as she passionately kisses Billy in the enclosed van. Olive is distracted when Ethan suggests that kissing one’s partner is more satisfying “behind closed doors” reminding herself that she dislikes Ethan even if he is attractive (135).

Olive assures Ethan she is willing to be a good fake wife, including playing up her attractiveness in a bikini. She reminds Ethan that feminism does not preclude taking pride in her body, she catches him staring at her chest. Ethan asks her to pretend to be attached to him. Olive is won over, declaring, “‘I can pretend to like you” (138). He takes her hand.