What If It's Us

 “Maybe the whole reason you’re here is because the universe wanted you to meet me, so I could tell you to throw the box away.”

This moment in the post office sets up the belief between Arthur and Ben that the universe brought them together. From that moment, they feel linked, and as the novel progresses, they will come to question and affirm what role they believe the universe is playing in their lives.

“It hits me deep in my chest. It’s that New York feeling, like they talk about in musicals—that wide-open, top-volume, Technicolor joy. Here I’ve spent the whole summer moping around and missing Georgia, but it’s like someone just flipped a light switch inside of me.”

This is the moment when Arthur truly falls in love with New York and its possibilities. He is constantly amazed by what it offers, and while at first he was displeased at being away from his friends for the summer, the flash mob in this scene illustrates how he is able to find The Magic of New York City.

“When we broke up, Hudson said my expectations are too huge and that I sometimes dream too far. I don’t get why that’s so bad. Why shouldn’t I want to be with someone who makes me feel worthy? Someone who wants to be with me for the long run?”

Ben is returned to himself in this novel. He becomes more optimistic, not quite believing that he and Arthur will ever see each other again. The process of looking for and finding him starts his growth and helps him get closure from his relationship with Hudson.

“My heart’s beating so fast, it’s almost stuttering. I hate this. It’s never been like this with them. Yeah, I’ve seen them get snippy with each other. We’re not robots. But they could always joke their way out of it. It’s just that these days, even the jokey moments feel like a temporary cease-fire.”

Arthur tends to make assumptions without knowing all of the information. He thinks his parents are on a road to divorce and is tired enough of their bickering that he’d rather they say it to him. However, he later discovers that this was never a possibility; instead, his parents work through their fights in their own way, which is part of their relationship dynamic. 

“It’s like Craigslist is some agent of the universe. Handling business. And maybe the universe is speaking through my dad right now to encourage me to do the same. To see if Arthur, my Lola, tried finding me too.”

The universe is a guiding force in this novel, and Missed Connections is a recurring motif. Ben’s wondering in this quote happens concurrently with Arthur’s thought that he should post on Missed Connections on Craigslist, though he ultimately decides against it. When Ben and Arthur eventually find their way together, they believe the universe is a major part of it.

“I don’t know. Sometimes I feel like New Yorkers do New York wrong. Where are the people swinging from subway poles and dancing on fire escapes and kissing in Times Square? The post office flash mob proposal was a start, but when’s the next big number? I pictured New York like West Side Story plus In the Heights plus Avenue Q—but really, it’s just construction and traffic and iPhones and humidity.”

Arthur sees New York romantically, so his characterization of the city speaks as much about the city as it does about Arthur himself. He’s the one to most optimistically believe in fate, The Role the Universe Plays in Our Lives, and, as exemplified here, The Magic of New York City.

“Maybe you do need a break before you’re really ready to move on. I will respect you if you walk away from this. But I know you’re a dreamer, Big Ben, and maybe the universe is giving you this second shot.”

Dylan gives Ben this pep talk right before they enter the Yale meetup in Central Park. He encourages Ben to follow his instinct that the universe is working to bring Arthur and Ben together and emphasizes that he deserves that. This moment also highlights how Ben will need to work through his remaining feelings for Hudson to move on, but it also foreshadows how much Ben will grow from being with Arthur.

“I guess that’s any relationship. You start with nothing and maybe end with everything.”

Building a relationship happens from the ground up, a fact that Ben and Arthur initially take for granted, relying on natural chemistry and a belief that the universe brought them together. They will have to work to forge their relationship and make it strong, an act that will require several do-overs.

“I peek at my phone. No texts from Ben. But that’s good. It means he hasn’t canceled.

It means I’m walking to the subway. It means I’m riding to Times Square.

It means it’s seven thirty on a Saturday night, and I’m four stops away from the first act of my love story.”

This quote helps characterize Arthur and the expectations of his date (and relationship) with Ben from the outset. He is thrilled to be going out on his first date, and because of its origins, he already believes that Ben could be his only boyfriend.

“Movies are filmed in Georgia all the time, but they’re not always about Georgia. Movies are made about New York. I could go on.”

Arthur is enamored by New York and its newness to him. His views contrast Ben’s, who “can’t remember what it’s like to be wowed by Times Square. Or anything in New York” (164). This fascination with the magic of the city speaks to Arthur’s rose-colored glasses and his optimism. However, he will also come to see New York as directly intertwined with Ben.

“Yeah, but I keep thinking about how if you really liked me, it would be your thing. Not karaoke in particular, I don’t care about that. But I think I’d find anything fun if I was with you.”

Arthur has many expectations of what he a relationship should be like. On the other hand, Ben is learning how to be in a relationship with someone new, and they have to continuously navigate this divide, as in this moment. Ultimately, this confession from Arthur prompts Ben to share more, bringing them closer together.

“We stand there for a few minutes and when the next train comes, Arthur doesn’t want to get on. Same for the next train. He’s collected himself as best as can be expected by the third train, and he’s only willing to get on because it’s packed so there will be more people to protect us if something happens again.”

After being threatened for showing affection to Ben on the train, Arthur is reasonably shaken. He can’t believe that society is still so unaccepting of him and his sexuality, and it scares him that he could be hurt just for being with Ben. He also is upset because he didn’t expect to encounter such hostility in New York.

“I still feel exposed, but I’m no longer worried about being judged.”

Ben feels a distinct difference between his and Arthur’s socioeconomic backgrounds, but he feels comfortable with the Seusses in his home. He recognizes that he should be proud of his family and his origins.

“I think about extra a lot. Vacations to all these tropical islands I’m always seeing in movies. Owning expensive sneakers that I can take out into the world and not keep in a closet, scared that I’ll mess them up. Family car to get us out of here on weekends. Updated iPhones and laptops. College since I won’t score a scholarship. These are all things Arthur’s family doesn’t have to worry about as much.”

Ben is conscious of growing up with a different economic background than Arthur, knowing it is a distinct difference in their lives. However, he is also unwilling to give up on Arthur because they have different backgrounds.

“Well done, universe. Way to prove you were never on our side. Way to prove you don’t even exist. There’s no plan and no fate. It’s only us. Only me trying too hard. Only Ben trying not hard enough. But hey—why bother trying for a guy you barely even know. Because I guess that’s how he sees me. Just some stupid tourist here to entertain him for the summer.”

At the novel’s climax, Arthur’s and Ben’s faith in the universe is at an all-time low. They’re not sure why they were brought together if it will cause them such pain, which remains true even when they get back together, knowing they will likely have to break up again.

“D, I’m just saying. We all talk a big game like the universe is actually setting us up for something epic, and then everything ends. If we were all just a little more realistic, we wouldn’t keep losing people.”

Ben’s comment to Dylan upsets his friend, who finally feels serious about his girlfriend. While this is part of Ben’s process of getting over Arthur, it also hurts Dylan and Samantha’s feelings.

“But maybe this isn’t how life works. Maybe it’s all about people coming into your life for a little while and you take what they give you and use it on your next friendship or relationship. And if you’re lucky, maybe some people pop back in after you thought they were gone for good.”

Ben has had difficulty moving on from his relationship with Hudson, but he eventually recognizes that Hudson served a purpose in his life, one that he cannot regret because, without it, he would not have met Arthur. Likewise, he feels that, without Arthur, he would have lacked the courage to post his novel online.

“I’m who I am today because I dated Hudson. I’m the guy you like because I dated Hudson. Who you met because I dated him and broke up with him.”

It takes Ben a long time to recognize the importance of his relationship with Hudson to his relationship with Arthur. He’s stuck in a loop of wanting to have not dated Hudson while recognizing that not dating Hudson would mean he never would have met Arthur. He struggles to move from his last relationship to his new one. However, by this point in the novel, he understands and respects the role Hudson played in his life and how it contributed to his character.

“If I don’t regret Hudson, there’s no way I could ever regret Arthur. I just have no idea what our next chapters look like. What kind of ending we need to brace ourselves for.”

Ben has to accept that dating Hudson is something he should not change about his past because it brought him to the present. His admission in this quote proves that he has grown to accept that his relationship with Hudson is over and that it played a large role in his life.

“We can fall back in place, or somewhere close enough to where we were before. This summer with more do-overs than I can count gives me hope that the four of us will figure it out.”

Ben wants to reconcile with Harriett and Hudson and to re-form the friend group that also included Dylan before his coupling up with Harriet and Ben with Hudson. He now has faith that they can come back together as friends, even if it is different than it was before. It is a marked contrast from the novel’s start, in which he felt so distant and isolated from Harriett and Hudson.

“I don’t know if we’re a love story or a story about love. But I know whatever we are that it’s great because we kept jumping through the hoops in the first place.”

Ben recognizes that part of what made his relationship with Arthur good is the work that they put in. This calls into question the role that the universe plays in our lives. Their meeting was by chance, but their decision to work through their challenges was their own. As a result, they’re stronger for it.

“The universe wouldn’t get us together for just one summer, right?”

This question ends the main part of the story, and the reader is left to wonder what will happen in the future. It also builds tension, even after the climax, as readers head into the Epilogue.

“I mean, we’re still here. We’re still us. You’re still in my life.”

Even in the Epilogue, Arthur and Ben are still trying to figure out the universe’s intentions for them. Ben emphasizes to Arthur that they managed to defy the odds by staying friends despite their break-ups. They often try to define what “us” is: friends, boyfriends, acquaintances, etc. And even after the Epilogue concludes, the definition is still undetermined.